Harvest Heart is Happy

Today the last bean was cut…..and the process of cleaning up the combine and putting the header back in the shed has begun. Can I get a HALLELUJAH?

Harvest is a farmers favorite time of year and at times I think its a farm wives least favorite (maybe equal to planting). Or maybe that’s just me. Harvest is over which means my husband is more available. Or at least I like to think he is 🙂 .

To a farmer and his family, harvest is the greatest time of the year. They get to harvest the seeds they planted and nurtured all summer long. There are years where there are bumper crops. Crops yield way higher than expected. There are years crops don’t do so good, don’t even get put in the ground, or get hit hard by mother nature in all the wrong ways.  Thank god for crop insurance 🙂

There is something spectacular about watching a combine in the field. An entire corn stalk is passed through the corn head, shelled, and shredded and all that remains in the hopper at the end is a kernel. I am not a mechanically inclined person at all and still don’t understand exactly how the machine does it, but it is sooooo fascinating to me. It’s amazing technology!

Amazing technology
Amazing technology

Most children grow up not knowing where their food comes from or the process behind it. My children will. It is something I am so passionate about. There are to many out there who are against GMOs or chemicals or just modern technology used to keep their stomachs full, clothed and alive. It is important we teach our children that there is more to the process and these advancements are necessary to advance agriculture into the next century.

Grady is three and when we were stocking the freezer with beef last weekend, he fully understood that one of our animals was what was being put into the freezer. To me that is great.

Future Farmer
Future Farmer

Whether it is harvesting corn, beans, or cattle it is important. It is amazing. Each time I see the combine I feel so blessed. So blessed to be part of something that seems so little to most around us but is something so big to us. My favorite view is the combine off in the distance cutting beans and the sun setting behind it.

One of the greatest views on earth
One of the greatest views on earth

So I dare you to thank a farmer. Thank them for what they provide for you. Give them the common courtesy when you meet them on the road moving equipment even when it might make you late to whatever it is you are going to. They are some of the hardest working people you will meet. They are some of the most genuinely compassionate people you will meet. While you are sitting at home during a fall evening there are many families out there in the field up until the early hours of the morning harvesting something that they grew not only for themselves but for YOU.

So now that Harvest 2015 is in the books planning for Planting 2016 has begun. In the mean time we pray the winter isn’t to rough and we have enough hay to feed our cattle to keep them healthy and alive. Farmers are on the job 365 years a day. Each animal they have is essentially like a child. They do anything in their power to keep them healthy and thriving once again not only for themselves but for YOU.

The next time you pick up your fork to eat a sirloin at your favorite steakhouse think of the many hours and days a farmer has spent behind just that single piece of meat. Know that they might not receive the largest profit from that single steak but even knowing that they still do what they can to maintain a healthy animal so YOU can enjoy a meal with family sharing and making memories. There are many memories behind that one steak. For me those are the days spent with my kids riding the ranger all over the pasture looking for new babies (again a great sight).


From our pasture or field to your plate…..we are grateful for the opportunity and we are proud to provide the harvest that helps you everyday of your life.

Dear Husband

Carla's Phones Pictures 020

Dear Husband,

As you sleep, I write this because as normal my mind can’t shut off but you fall asleep on any surface you can find.

Please know I am trying my hardest to keep it all together for the sake of you and our two children.

Please know, I do know how much crap I drag you through day in and day out.

Please know those nights I get so angry and throw things and scream uncontrollably, that is not me…it’s the disease.

Know that when you come home and the house is a mess and the kids are running around with nothing but their diapers and underwear on, I promise I have been productive that day. Though the mounds of laundry, toys strung everywhere, and dirty dishes piling in the sink may say differently. I’m not going to lie there are some days that I am so down that I do nothing but sit there and stare at the wall and take care of the kids to the best of my ability.

Please know that when you text or call and I don’t answer its not because I am ignoring you, its me trying to prevent a fight that I will start because of my own mental problems.

Know that I realize you have stuck by my side even though I have drug you from suicidal intentions, psychiatric wards, depressive worthless episodes and so much disappointment.

Please know I am soooo lonely. You say I have to be happy with myself before I can be happy with our relationship, but I need you to provide me with some things before I can be happy with myself.

Please know I would go to the moon and back for you, our kids, our families, and friends. Please know when I am begging for help that I need it, it’s not an attempt for attention. It is me pushing you away when I need you more than ever. When I need you to show me how loved I am and how much I mean to you.

Please know I love you so much. The things I say during episodes I don’t mean. I don’t mean to be so angry, irritable, or anxious. Bipolar doesn’t have a cure, but it can be managed. With your help and my psychiatrist, I know we can manage it.

PLEASE stay by my side. I need you. I need you to love me. To show me that you are there and always will be. I need to know I am a priority, that I’m not on the back burner. That I rate higher than drinking beer with your buddies. That my opinions matter. That you are still in love with me even though I’ve put you through so much.

I will forever love you, no matter what bipolar Brittany says.


Your Lonely Crazy Wife

Who I am and why I’m here

I am participating in a blogging workshop and this is post one. I am running behind a couple of days due to being without a smart phone……and two tornadoes (kids) who follow me around 24/7.

My name is Brittany. I am a 27 year old mother of two and wife to a husband who I consider my third child. We live a life revolved around agriculture. I have been diagnosed with bipolar depression. I am not afraid to share my mental illness with others, even though it often times gets in the way with everyday life. Over the last few years I have lost complete track of who I am as a person. My purpose. My likes and hobbies. Just who I am in general.

I started this blog as a vent for my everyday struggles and blessings. I have always been able to explain things better on paper than I could verbally. Some nights I feel as though I am hiding behind a computer screen, but I am putting it out there in one form another, so that counts for something right?

With this blog I hope to give hope to others dealing with mental illness. I hope to meet other farm wives who go through the daily struggle of sometimes raising your children on your own. I hope to connect with mothers on a level that only someone who has children understands. Most of all, in all of these words I type I hope to find myself again. Give myself some enjoyment. Throw the emptiness out the door, and become me again. If that takes sharing that journey with the world….then so be it.

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